That's exactly how it used to be for us, wouldn't you agree? At first I couldn't understand why I became so attached to the story but now that I've gotten out for a better view, I think it's because it made me realize what we were and what I really felt about you.

You were the strong, independent type who knew what she wanted and I was the weak, naive character who always relied on you, depended on you to take care of me. We were Nana and Hachi, you and me. I felt betrayed by you, the same way I felt betrayed when I was deserted by my closest friend back before I met you. I felt that you never really cared about me, that this friendship never meant anything to you since you were able to forget so easily. My self-esteem sank and I started thinking that I would never be able to satisfy you, that my weakness and stupidity are annoying. Is that how you really feel about me? Someone who's just a memory? You have to tell me if it is so. I can't have my heart broken all the time.

I love you. Yeah, so much that it kept me paranoid all those long weeks that I haven't heard from you. No, it's not the love from my suspicious bisexual tendencies. It's the love from what I hope is our friendship. I love you to a point that I would do anything to keep you at my side. I love you to a point that I would let you do what you want to do, even if I'm nowhere in it. I'm sorry if I needed to say this, it's just that if I don't, I think I'll go mad. Don't worry, this as far as it goes.

Are we over, Nana?

I hope not... because I'd always want to be your Hachi.

* ** ***

I don't want to hear about him anymore. He's turned into a taboo, just like all the others who came before, because his name alone can make me feel sad. Thank you, but I don't need to know that you saw him, that he did not forget you and he greeted you, and that he was with a potential girlfriend, no matter how very ugly she looked. I don't need to know everything about him. I am not a sucker for these kinds of updates.

Maybe it's just because I'm in too deep the melodramatic shit. Maybe it's just because I'm fatally stupid and totally sensitive. I don't care. I'm depressed. He depresses me a lot.

*sigh*

But soon I'll be happy. I'll smile, maybe even laugh; I'll continue to hope for someone better, maybe even continue dreaming of fairy tales; I'll get on with this life, maybe even live it like I've always been okay.

As for now, let me cry. As for now, excuse these sad eyes welling with tears, endure these seemingly endless rants about him, sympathize with this irritable little girl in agony. As for now, just hold me until I forget.