i was inexplicably excited when i woke up yesterday morning. something big's about to happen, i thought, i just can't remember exactly what it is. after i got a grip of myself by forcing the feeling out of my head and concentrating on retrieving its cause, everything became clearer... and i felt excited all the more.
i had to drag tina out of class. she's forgotten it's the big day. so the two of us went to SC; she copied the resume template (thanks to donn, btw) and we went to settle the affairs we have left hangin.
some hours later we were walkin, still under the scorching heat of the sun despite the umbrellas, to the station. we stood idly for sometime since none of us four (niavi, tina, dj moo, sang) wanted to ask the peeps there whether we were in the right place. finally, we were able to force tina and sang to ask and pass the resumes. haha.
after a trillion years, we were given numbers by the very friendly batch 3 airchecker claudia, whose hard work was repaid by a bottle of c2, and lots, hopefully, of smiles. me, 0064. we waited still, i think it was already around 3(?) when we sat by the marble steps of the station and started losing our minds in full swing. trust me. or don't. we started singing. i was even dancing. oh holy night. m2m singles, with matching high, thin voices. b n b. bahay kubo with choral blending. love radio station id, complete with crazy frog intro. i told you. we started singing. plus, plus, edessa made her version of twiching under pressure. wahahaha.
claudia then interrupted our happy disposition with an announcement that we were to be taken into the booths for a tour. hooray that! we went into the ls booths, saw several of them djs, and almost forgot the heat outside. haha. when we went back to the lobby and to the waiting crowd, i don't know if it's a good thing or not, our energy levels, instead of being diminished, rose to greater heights. maybe because, even for a little we were able to escape the rising temperatures. i'm sorry, we must've irritated all the other people there with all our chatter but heck, we could not have helped it otherwise. haha.
by the time the clock struck 4, i was thinkin i must get out already. we still havent been through the interview, it was getting pretty late because the family was havin dinner out in celebration of mum's birthday. then mr. someone asked the crowd for their decision: finish everything then even if it takes all night, or issue new numbers for us to come back the next day (which is today). majority won. finish everything. ohhhh, craaap. fine.
after n minutes, our batch of 10 was called in for the interview. my. my. just thinkin of it makes my insides turn all over just as they did yesterday. out of nervousness that is. there was apprehension of course, and that sense of 'at last!' but above all there was this numbing feeling that put me on the verge of panic. ohhhh, craaap. i asked those who just finished with the interview how it went. they said it was okay, there was a panel of judges who asked the aircheck candidate stuff mala-american idol. well that just about made me quit. american idol???!!! as in american idol with a SIMON present. thank you, i'm outta here. but okay, since edessa had another crappy line to define the situation (you're an overcomer) i sat tight and waited for 0064 to be called out.
the interview was fine. i was able to face the panel without trembling... too much. haha. i was afraid i'd stutter. but fortunately, i didn't. it was cool. haha. they asked me to read something, and so i did. i was in the middle of the article when they stopped me and told me to wait for further instructions. i replied with a light and brave 'thanks!' and vanished out of the room. waaaah! i was thinkin they didn't like me. i could imagine wap, who's also from batch 3, coming out of the room and telling me, 'how far worse can you get? that was trashiest attempt at aircheck ever.' wahahahaha. we waited for the batch to finish the interviews before heading back to the lobby.
i then asked michelle, our batchmate, what was goin to happen. she told me we have to wait for the announcement of those who would proceed to the second stage. and then hans of batch 3 called out those who would do recording. hooray us! all four of us were going to record! hahaha.. we were then ushered to the booth where dan the man was doing his shift.
now this is juicy. and crazy. haha. so we were in the booth with several other applicants and i was insane once more. i was being the wacky me. the pampam me. whatever. dan was givin us chunks of advices in between his on-airs. then he needed someone to go on-air. and he eyed me, because, hopefully, i am bibo. *adik sort of grin* he pointed a finger at me and said, 'i want you.' and here is where the peak of insanity turns on pumping. i remember that radio drama we did in hs, stacy's line specifically, that one she replied with to the blanco who just confessed he liked her. out of dire stupidity maybe, i spurted in a girly, extremely flirty-sounding voice, 'i want you, too.' WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! of course it was a joke.
time came for the recording. im not gonna elaborate on this. i totally screwed this up. i did. i did. no matter what, i did. i became uberly conscious because master t was in the room. crap me.
oh well. what will happen, happens. i'll just have to deal with it even if it's real hard. *cries in frustration*
so much for an experience. :D
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good friday. some reflection.
God is faithful. this life of mine was one of trials, shortcomings, wrongs, imperfections, storms. but each and every time such events occur, it would be me walking back and searching for God's embrace, and He would be there, waiting to take me into His arms to comfort me and forgive me. those moments always made me feel vulnerable but at the same time safe. i always thought there will surely be greater aftershocks but God will help me through so i need not worry, just cast all my fears away and put my trust in Him. in these circumstances did i fully understand certain facets of faith --- it is unconditional love mirrored in dependence and loyalty; it is undying belief, that hope that a sinner would realize what s/he had done and would repent and seek His Word; it is willingness to forgive, willingness to risk a person to fall into temptation once more pitted against the hope that this time s/he might hold and live by the Word.
i am special. God loves me.
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