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5:59a
feb 11, 2006
in 28 days, i'll turn 18. i feel so old. (though i think i said the same thing when i was about to turn 16.)
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last thursday night, theater class watched pinoy wannabes at peta theater. we saw eugene domingo again, but this time she was part of the audience. she was with a-man-who-changed-his-mind who really looked familiar, he must be a director or such.
i didn't exactly looove the plays (there were 5) but i really appreciated each and every one of them, especially panaginip. panaginip is about gay lovers, they were archi studes, with the seemingly straight gone off to france seeking for greener pastures (EWWW. that sounds so cliche.) and the undeniably homo left in the country waiting for the seemingly straight. both had love affairs outside their own, but vic, the undeniably homo, refused to fully give himself into his 'other' affair because he still loved the seemingly straight and was waiting for his return. because no replies came from seemingly straight, vic decided to go to california (?) with greg, his internet gay lover. too bad though, seemingly straight came home to be with vic right after vic left.
aside from the plays, thursday was also bonding night for theater. yeah, i arrived home at 1, friday morning, and yeah i did cause my parents headache. i know i'm guilty. but i'm also guilty of extremely enjoying myself and enjoying the company of my theater buddies.
wish ko lang di ako ngumunguya nyan
saerom and i ticked time off with toni some 8 hours before the play. i looove toni!! yeah, i love you, toni. (ummm, toni is a girl and i love her not in a homo way.) she shows real interest when you've something to say, she's open-minded, she tells great stories, she hates flirts, and she's so in touch with her sentiments. i just hope she and ulysses, her boyfriend, turn out okay. for chrissakes. it's their monthsary on valentine's.
toni the babe!
in the eve, even the jeepney rides were fun. people kept crackin jokes, people kept inching closer to their objects of desire (^^), people kept being themselves and lovin the class. kris kept sayin, 'i'm hunger' and there was a time when she added, 'you know, sometimes i'm hunger but sometimes i'm sleep.' LOL! gn also had her own grammar-stupid versions like, 'yes, i am povert.' hahaha! i love you guys.
pau and kris: hot chicks ;D
and speakin of 'i'm hunger,' i really felt that way. my, the last layer on my tummy was gulaman, and i consumed it ages ago. i was sooo damn hungry, my tummy grumbled all the time. good thing nanay gn had her badly-toast-but-nevertheless-palatable-liverspread-sandwich. we were laughin because it seemed like frat initiation or something when we passed the damned sandwich around, each of us takin a bite. haha. we did look like pgs, okay. and it wasn't the last thing we passed around --- nanay gn also shared her chao fan when she was ruhsing to finish it.
nanay gn and me
jireh invited us to attend thursday fair and by so doing, he reminded me that i'm not attending a single fair event. waaaah. even jok8 and memae are comin over. damned accounting exam. damn it forever. oh, yeah. btw, thanks to jai for pullin me to the side of the road. i would've been hit if he hadn't. sheesh. up to now i still can't take care of myself.
the waiters: jireh and alvin
we cried on the bus home. i want to cry some more. it makes me feel a lot better than just densing all the emotion inside. i love you tina; thanks for stayin with me.
* ** ***
deirdre told apa. apa knows. right now, deirdre can tell apa's a mix of pride and anxiety.
credits: nanay gn for the photos
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there are reasons to be extremely happy and reasons to be extremely troubled. and as always, they come in a package. trust me, laugh so hard now and the next moment you know you'll be crying or really depressed. it's kinda cynical/nega to say that you shouldn't laugh out or express too much gaiety if you wanna prevent sad stops, but hey, when you come to think of it, life is too short to not giggle and not wail-- and it'll be a lot more worth livin if you get a taste of everything and see how very human you can get.
one thing i'm really happy about: theater. i got the role! hahahaha! i got the role i wanted! but it'll have to remain the class's little secret 'til the staging. we're reading lines now, practicin how to say stuff and all. i think the committees are a little dormant for the moment, but soon enough, with denise, and saerom, and gn chasin their asses, we'll see some results.
update: nica's theater guild will also stage last order sa penguin by chris martinez in march. we're on some sorta competition for market. heehee.
my, my! we saw geegee at waterina, and welcome to intelstar last last week. really kewl. eugene domingo is awesome! i didn't know she's that good. and the gay play was real funny, too. all the while i was thinkin, jack should've been here, she'd love this. btw, chris martinez directed intelstar. we talked to him and got his okay for penguin.
plans: we're watching pinoy wannabes by PETA on thursday evening. we're planning to watch zsa zsa zaturnnah on the 19th. saerom also posted re: viktor frakenstein. jenny wants to watch romeo and juliet at AFP theater. if i do all that, i'll run out of dough.
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this is deirdre's last week, hopefully. give everything.
it's not exactly makin her unhappy; in fact, it excites her. but sometimes the pressure is so very strong she has to put other stuff aside just to keep in pace. she'll do what she can. so help her God.
consolation. she's not the only one in that situation. there are many others out there who are going through so much more than what she is 'sufferin' now. she finds they're all the same, just apart, so she's made up her mind that she'll not think she's alone.
what's disturbing though is she hasn't cried a single tear. it feels great to cry because you get to release all the stress. but no. lacrimal glands are dry. why? pain not enough? fear not enough? why that worry, tension and all but no physical burst of emotion?
she knows she wants it. she listens. miss sofia says time just passes. third week on wednesday. after that everything's gonna be fine. back to life without terror but more reason to live.
* ** ***
my mum's sick. pray for her pls.
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