am i too late now
will i find a way to get to you somehow
she's breaking me down again
she's breaking me down
she's breaking me down again
i'll bleed for you
like a new tattoo
in my heart you'll stay prominent

-- a new tattoo, urbandub

was i too late? did i find a way? maybe. i don't think i'll ever know -- unless you tell me. but i don't give a damn. i've been broken, remained that way for a little while, and finally decided to pick up the pieces.

i'm through with the bleeding part, thanks to dear old time. it's a good thing to be free of that stinking attachment to the past. i'm not affected anymore. i'm cool with everything. i certainly don't wanna go through with that pain again and as long as i can avoid it, i certainly will. anyway, i have better control of myself now. i made it.

but the thing about being prominent, i guess it'll go that way for quite some time. maybe it'll disappear someday, but definitely not someday soon. be that right or wrong, i can't tell and wouldn't dare to.

****

for the past month-- didn't even realize it's already been a month, not 'til now-- there was nothing but do this and that and this and that. drudgery to the utmost. okay, not so. i enjoyed a few chosen segments but hey, i've been working like a house elf.

i was able to fix my sked after all, not that it's the best sked of all time. i just found ways to make it somewhat better than the original (something like inferno to purgatorio). everyday starts at 830 (530, taking into account the waking up, prep, and travel), mondays end at 2, tfs supposedly at 1, thursdays at 3, and wednesdays at noon. a couple of saturdays devoted to cwts project implementation.

i initially liked ba 99.1 but ever since those quizzes given last thursday, i've been crestfallen. i was so out of synch. i have to get back.

econ's better. or easier. we've tired of making stupid jokes about autographs and ariel. just had the first exam this morning. it wasn't uber easy but it wasn't hard. it just took some identification, analysis and application.

stat's the best. i like the prof so much. she treats us like younger siblings, which, to my thinking is essential since being a prof, you have to establish good rapport.

my ges, pp, geog, cw are ok. pp's cool, though i missed the first quiz (because i waited for the next jeep so that i'll have the chance to sit next to one of the hims-- in short, i was late). we watched a sharon cuneta film last time. we'll be doing porn this week. gotta hide my readings. people here might dig my stuff up and think i'm a pervert. geog, a little boring but can be made fun. i need to get an uno from this or i'm damned. got a long test next meeting. i'm excited about the field trip to taal volcano. i haven't really been there so i'm curious. cw, the ever effortful cw, plus the prof who gave archie a screaming 2.75, a brain-bashing subject naturally. hope to finish it with satisfactory marks at the very least. i just really like the subject. i want to learn.

cwts, the project hasn't been finalized but i hope it will be 'sealed' this week. just need to cut a deal with a contact and we're off. pray.

finally, the subject i'm taking up most seriously-- judo. it gives me a lot of physical exercise and takes my mind off all the schoolwork. i just love it. and i love my uniform, too. why wouldn't i? it costs a fifth of my tuition. we've finished the back and side fall, attempted the judo roll-- not a hundred percent success-- and we're starting on the grappling. i hope to put off some weight. i'll show that cute intern i could get rid of that 33% body fat. damn. imagine that. a third of my body made up of fat. and as per science, 2/3 made up of water. in totality, i'm a walking mix of cholesterol and h2o. urggh. where'd all the protein go?

****

ate with deetoo this afternoon (thanks to archie who sponsored my share in the meal) at mang jimmy's. another burst of sisig, lengua, liempo, and all that grease. good luck to my weight loss program.

we then moved to the grand stand and played charades. we were laughing like hell. our group won (hooray! pol, chi, tina, ivy) two rounds. the consequences for micha, gil, jonalyn, and joshua (most recent blockmate!) were outrageous. we had them do the butt spell first. then the alms act. and they did it! wow... must be layers of shield before you get to their timidity barrier! hehe.